In Marriage – 1 by Sade Akanni...

‘And the third day, there was a marriage in Cana, of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there. And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the mar­riage. And when they lacked wine, the mother of Jesus said unto Him, they have no wine.

Jesus said unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come. His mother saith unto the Servants, whatever he saith unto you, do it And there were set there six water pots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, con­taining two or three firkins a piece. Jesus saith unto them, draw some out now and bear it unto the governor of the feast.  And they bore it When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not from where it was (but the servants who drew the water knew), the gov­ernor of the feast called the bridegroom, and saith unto him, “Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine, and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou has kept the good wine until now.’ (In 2:1-10 KJV)

From the beginning of creation, marriage was God’s own idea. God ordained marriage and that for a purpose. It was God that brought it into being. Mar­riage never originated as man’s own idea. It was not conceived by man, so it cannot be sustained by human ideas and calculations. God is the author of marriage, and He brought it into being when He saw that the man He had created needed help in order to be able to do the work He had given him to do. Marriage is a means to an end. It is not an end in itself. It was ordained by God for the fulfilment of His will in the life of the man. Even today, God’s purpose for marriage has not changed. It is therefore, necessary for any man wishing to go into marriage to give God the supreme place from the be­ginning of the relationship to the end.

In the scripture quoted above, there was a mar­riage in Cana of Galilee and the mother of Jesus was there. We are told that Jesus, and his disciples were also invited to that marriage. Take note of that. It seems as if the bride, and the bridegroom knew Jesus somehow, and so they invited him to the marriage. His presence was solicited. And he honoured the invitation. What a guest He was in that marriage! Jesus the King of Kings, the All-sufficient God and the great Provider, was invited.

Look at your own marriage. Can you sincerely say that you invited Jesus into your marriage right from the beginning? Did you not start it your own way? Was it not when trouble struck that you remembered Jesus, and started looking for him? Who led you into that marriage?

The Lord Jesus says in Matt 7:24 ‘Therefore whoso­ever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock.’ Maybe your home is al­most scattering as a result of some little storm of life, due to the fact that you did not hear him speak to you about the home from the beginning. Or maybe he spoke, but you disobeyed and did what seemed right in your own eyes. You did not realise that by so doing, you were building your home on ordinary sand. It may be looking beautiful today, but it has no solid foundation. You can imagine what will happen by the time it rains, and the winds as well as the storms beat against it. It will surely collapse. That is why you cannot do without the presence of Jesus in your marriage for its success.

Perhaps you even did His will in going into that marriage; but along the line, you have left Jesus outside and continued managing your home the way you like. You do not care again about his will in running the af­fairs of your home on day-to-day basis. You have forgotten that the bible says in Col 1: 17 (Phillips modern English) ‘He (Jesus) is both the first principle and the upholding prin­ciple of the whole scheme of creation.‘ Apart from starting your home with Jesus and based on Jesus’ prin­ciple, you also need to make him the upholding principle of your home. The day- to- day running of your home must be directed by Jesus the Manufacturer of marriage if God’s purpose for your home will come to pass. More­over, we were told that Jesus was only one of the invitees in that marriage. He was just like any other invitee, and so he could not have an upper hand in their affairs. It was only when called upon that he could make any con­tribution towards the success of that marriage

This only shows how much they valued Jesus. They just invited him like any other person, and then made another man the governor, the ruler of the feast. Yet Jesus will not struggle for any position of recognition in any marriage. He will surely stay wherever you put him in your home.

Dear friend, what position have you accorded Jesus in your home? Is He just like any other person to you, and His instructions like any other person’s instructions to you? Supposing the couple had made Jesus the ruler of that feast, do you think wine would have finished? No. He would have supplied enough wine that would last throughout the marriage. He is the All-sufficient God. There would not have been any need to run helter-skelter for lack of wine. Jesus would have constantly provided for their needs. Think about your own situation. The troubles you are having today in your home may be because you did not put Jesus in the right place in your marriage. The wine of your marriage finished prematurely because you never made Him the Lord in your home both at the beginning and on daily basis. God has given us instruc­tions in His word to make our homes peaceful and fruit­ful as Christians.  But see how many times you have disobeyed. You have been so strong-­willed and not submissive to your husband and your home is almost collapsing because of this. It only indicates that Jesus is not yet the Lord in your home or may be at best, he is one of the invitees. As the husband, do you enjoy just ruling over your wife? Check Gen 3: 16. What God taught husbands is to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (Eph. 5:25). Jesus loved us while we were yet sinners. So every husband ought to love his wife. You need to ac­cord Jesus the lordship over your home, for it is only in him (Christ) that all things hold together (Col. 1: 17 RSV) Your marriage will only hold together if you make Jesus the Lord therein: if you hear his instructions and do them. You can only find fulfillment in marriage as you make him the Lord both of your life and marriage.

This particular couple, even though they invited Jesus into their marriage, did not give him the right po­sition due unto him. He was outside the mainstream of things. He was not on their high table. Other men were preferred to him. No wonder wine disappointed them. It is not enough just to invite Jesus into your marriage. He deserves to be the Lord. He brought marriage into existence, and it is only in him that all things about your marriage can hold together. It is good to invite Jesus into your marriage relationship at the very beginning, but it is not sufficient except He is made the Lord: the Governor and the Ruler not only of the wedding, but also of the whole process and scheme of your marital life.

Did you invite Him to set the pace at the beginning of your relationship? Where is He now?  Is He the Lord of all, or just one of the guests? Is He in charge of your affairs or outside the mainstream of your lifestyle and activities in marriage?

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